hard fingers

I am disappointed with my writing. This blog is supposed to enhance my skills in the art, but for the past 4 months it seemed like I am over-exerting the effort to create a single entry. I really don’t pre-plan for topics to write about; whenever I open this page, I wait for my hungry fingers to work on the keys to cook the perfect soup of the day. That was the plan: spontaneity. But so far all I can think about is that its really not working for me. I guess I can never have the perfect soup recipe anytime I want.

But then after giving much thought, I’m usually able to write better, faster, in a very spontaneous manner when I am low, sad, depressed, challenged, fired up, or pissed off. Not to imply that I don’t get to feel those things anymore, but perhaps I just found a way to pile up such negative emotions in a single box that I will leave at my gate at the end of the day, before I retire to this life in megabytes per second. That’s actually good, right? Could I attribute this to maturity? Well, actually, I’m thinking of ‘old age’.

Perhaps I should look for more motivation than negative emotions (and software manuals, lol) in order to write with ease and with passion. The only problem is, I am boring. I am detached. I always rethink the idea of fun which complicates things. And most of the time, I am stoic…

…which could probably explain why technical writing works for me
…and why I became a news editor in College, not for features
…and why my fingers get harder to work with every writing day.