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hard fingers
Sunday, December 21, 2008I am disappointed with my writing. This blog is supposed to enhance my skills in the art, but for the past 4 months it seemed like I am over-exerting the effort to create a single entry. I really don’t pre-plan for topics to write about; whenever I open this page, I wait for my hungry fingers to work on the keys to cook the perfect soup of the day. That was the plan: spontaneity. But so far all I can think about is that its really not working for me. I guess I can never have the perfect soup recipe anytime I want.
But then after giving much thought, I’m usually able to write better, faster, in a very spontaneous manner when I am low, sad, depressed, challenged, fired up, or pissed off. Not to imply that I don’t get to feel those things anymore, but perhaps I just found a way to pile up such negative emotions in a single box that I will leave at my gate at the end of the day, before I retire to this life in megabytes per second. That’s actually good, right? Could I attribute this to maturity? Well, actually, I’m thinking of ‘old age’.
Perhaps I should look for more motivation than negative emotions (and software manuals, lol) in order to write with ease and with passion. The only problem is, I am boring. I am detached. I always rethink the idea of fun which complicates things. And most of the time, I am stoic…
…which could probably explain why technical writing works for me
…and why I became a news editor in College, not for features
…and why my fingers get harder to work with every writing day.
genesis
Sunday, September 28, 2008I am a father of three blogs, and nothing actually ever lived beyond 3 months. One even barely had anything at all. Somehow I love starting over and then later to just start over again. It should stop right here; well, at least this should start something better.
Better. That has been an operative word why it always boil down to starting over and over for the longest time. In search for something better, we all somehow tend to leave the not-so-better behind. But this time, I think I’m at least in a more sober state of mind already to stop falling to the trap of rebooting things and losing control.
Control. Someone from far back said that I am obsessed to having everything in control and for me to have control of everything. True. I’ve been admitting that over and over again, but only because I believe that we all should at least take control of things that we can control. Perhaps I’m just running into that problem of how to define ‘things that we can control’. Read: things.
Things, and that already encompasses so many. We all get to be very vague once in a while for a reason.
Reason. Months ago we took a Myers-Briggs test and I scored as ENTJ, where T=Thinking; and for that alone I scored a whopping 95% against its counterpart F=Feeling. And my boss once said that I am really too much of a T. True. But then, that’s not always infallible. There are times that I get unreasonable and doesn’t think much - for a reason. Maybe to take control, to make things better, or for world peace.